Illegally Mine
by TheScarsAndSmiles
Summary: Everything Joker does is illegal...even with his relationship with Harley and...well possibly marriage. One-shot.


**A/N: I'm back with another one-shot and this time around it is fluffy (well sort of). I'm sorry if my writing got more cornier. I just had to get the idea out of my head.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Batman nor DC Comics. I do own my brain though!**

**Anyways without further ado...ENJOY...**

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Yes it was time for one of Harley's usual rant at Ivy's hideout. Or Ivy's time of annoyance.

"I just don't understand why he won't propose to me?" Harley started.

At least it was better than the 'Why doesn't he love me' or 'I hate him so much' speeches.

"I don't know," Poison Ivy replied as she walked around her garden, watering her plants. "He probably isn't a guy who makes commitments considering he's a homicidal maniac."

Harley followed her as she spoke out, "But he's my homicidal maniac. I just wished he would one day forget about the Bat and settle down. We could move away from Gotham and raise our own kids-"

Of course, Ivy had tuned her out as always ever since she heard it the fifth time Harley came to hang out. It was normal every time she mentioned the son of a bitch.

"-We would live happily ever after" Harley sighed dreamily. "but it ain't gonna happen-"

"Because Batman is still alive, I know..." Ivy ended the sentence for her.

"Exactly." Harley agreed. "He's stealing my Puddin' just by hitting him..."

Ivy finally stopped what she was going and looked at her, "Look, Harley, I understand that you want to have a happy marriage with the clown but for today, I was hoping you wouldn't mention him. At all."

"I just can't help but think-"

Ivy cut her off, "If we're just going to talk about the stupid clown, I rather suffocate myself with my own vines."

"Fine then. I'll just leave." Harley said with a bratty tone.

"I'll see you next week...unless he throws you out tomorrow!" Ivy yelled out to her as she stormed out her gardens.

Harley left her gardens and headed back to her and Mr J's funhouse, trying her best to avoid the rain on her way.

"Back so soon? Did Poison Oaky's dead garden intoxicate you enough?" Joker slyly asked her as she entered the room.

"No. I just left. Apparently she didn't feel like talking today." Harley replied to him.

"Are you sure she didn't wanted alone time to talk to her own plants?" Joker asked her amusingly.

"Yes I'm sure." She retorted.

Their conversation ended and Harley went to their room and lied on their bed and thought about their possible future for the rest of the day.

Later that night, Joker came in tired, obviously from all his brilliant planning on his next encounter with Batman. He changed into nothing but his polka-dotted boxers and lied next to Harley, his back facing her. He was slowly falling asleep until he was disturbed by his harlequin's voice.

"Puddin'," Harley started.

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever thought...what if..." she hesitated.

"What do you want, Harley?" Joker questioned her in a lazy voice, with a hint of irritation.

"Do ever see us in the future...you know...together?" She asked nervously.

"We are together." He turned his body to face her.

"No I mean...like together, together with commitments and...rings..." Harley continued.

"You want us to get married?" Joker asked.

Harley replied, "Well...yeah."

"I don't really think about it. I don't really care for marriage, Harley..." he started to drift off again until...

Harley quietly shouted, "What do you mean you don't care?! "

"I just don't believe you should waste money on a ring so you can say you're officially together. Some marriages end in divorces and look at how much is wasted on not just money, but time." he started paying attention in to the conversation/fight they were having.

"Are you saying our relationship is a waste of your time?" Harley questioned him. There was potential anger that was going to be released.

"No, I'm saying Marriage is a waste of time." He retorted.

"So, I wasted my life falling in love with a clown who thinks our possible future is a waste of his damn time and money." She got louder.

"Harley..." He had tried to calm her down.

Then she started her rant, "I knew you were never capable of making any commitments in this relationship. You don't even love me do you?! I can't believe this! I could've been a great ass psychiatrist but no I had to be so stupid to help you-" her speech was silenced when Mr. J kissed her. As corny as it sounded, it was Joker's only way to shut her up. Unless it was punching her in the jaw or taping her mouth shut...that's not the point.

"Harley, I don't want to put a ring on you hand just to call you mine. I like to think that you're...Illegally mine." He said sweetly, calming her down.

"Illegally?" She puzzled.

"Yes. Illegally. We're wanted criminals, remember. Nothing I do is legal Harley."

"So, I'm...Illegally Yours?"

"Illegally mine, your mine Harley, don't you dare forget that." He told her.

"Oh Mistah J! You're the best! I love you so much Puddin'!" she cuddled into his arms.

"Yeah, yeah. Just shut up so I can get my beauty rest." He took her into his arms, holding her.

Harley slept peacefully that night, knowing she'll still have her happily ever after...well maybe not exactly how she wanted...

_I'm Illegally Yours, Puddin'..._

FIN!

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**Thank You for reading. Constructive criticism is welcomed...****I'll love you for reviewing...**


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